Scream

by Raye Johnsen

Inu-Yasha is copyright Takahashi Rumiko and Shogakukan. In other words, not me.

He smiles at me, cruel and amused, delighted by my struggles as I push desperately at his hands holding me down; but I am wounded and weak from blood loss, shock and the healing  compounds the healer has treated my injuries with and so I cannot hold him off. But I cannot let this happen; I can't....

He laughs. I hate his laugh. I can't believe that once I thought him beautiful and noble, as a prince should be. But he is no prince and I cannot, will not, give in.

Finally he tires of his game and begins to press me down on the futon. I start to scream, and he clamps his hand over my mouth. I try to bite it, but he knows that trick and has arched the centre of his palm up, away from my teeth.

Damn him, I think, as the pain begins; yes, and damn me too....

I sit up suddenly, the miasma of nightmare still caught  in my throat.

"Are you all right, Sango?" Kagome yawns, sitting up beside me. Her protector stares at me without speaking from over her shoulder, from where he has been sleeping on her other side. Never mind that it is over two metres away from her; there is nobody between them and, although neither would admit it, that is reassuring to both of them.

"Just a nightmare," I say, and shake my head. The scraps of dream fade; what was I dreaming of?

"Bad?" asks Inu-Yasha.

I frown. "I don't even remember it," I admit softly.

That priest is striding ahead again.

A part of me is amused by his antics. He conducts 'exorcisms' to gain us shelter, asks almost every female of childbearing age to his bed (and it is frightening how many accept) and is unashamedly cowardly and greedy.

A part of me is satisfied that he has never asked me to bear his child. He respects my battle prowess enough not to risk my proving it upon his body. Another part - my vanity - is piqued. Even Naraku's unwitting henchmen admitted I was attractive. That I'm not attractive enough for him to risk my wrath by asking is lowering to my ego.

Still, he makes a good scout. Nobody expects a priest to be a fighter.

The demon of the day is nothing more than a millipede that has managed to pick up a fragment of Shikon no Tama dust, grow to three metres, and rampage through the local village's crops.

Still, it has managed to hole itself up in a blind canyon and we will have to work to get it out.

The headman of the village has a few maps of the area and we read them carefully. Or, rather, Miroku, Kagome, Shippou and I read them carefully. Inu-Yasha is improving our vocabulary of profanity from the floor where he is recovering from a "Sit!", after announcing his intention to simply go charging in, as a millipede has little in the way of defence. Kagome does not approve of this plan.

Looking over the map, I can see two ways of going in. One will give us an advantage, while the other will expose us to the millipede. We can triumph from either position, but it will be harder from the second position.

I open my mouth to recommend the first, but the words I feel my lips about to form will recommend the second.

Clamping my lips shut, I swallow hard, staring at the map. Reaching out, I touch the surface and my finger skitters along it. I touch the first position, the hidden one.

Then my arm shudders. I can feel my muscles, pulling my hand along, drawing my finger to the second position. Before it gets there, I snatch my hand away from the map.

The others peer at the map. Miroku nods. "You're right, Sango. That's definitely the best place to go in."

I nod, not trusting my voice. What's wrong with me?

Sitting around the campfire that night, I look over my companions.

We had thought the fight would be quick and easy, and it was neither. Inu-Yasha took a wound on his arm, while Miroku is bruised and scraped from where he had to dodge into some rocks, Kagome twisted her ankle and I had to wield my Boomerang Bone three times. We are all glad for the peaceful night.

Kagome, Shippou and Inu-Yasha are curled up side by side, not even admitting in sleep the trusting family they are. Miroku is snoring away on the other side of the fire.

I don't want to go to sleep.

Whatever happened to me today is linked to sleep, I'm sure, though I have no idea why. I won't sleep, if that's what... will... happen....

Naraku laughs, his voice rich and warm as it chills my blood.

"You can't resist forever," he whispers against my skin, as I struggle against him. But I am wounded and without strength, and I can't keep fighting. But I must.

"Your struggles are admirable," he murmurs. "I think I'll keep you, even after I hold the Shikon no Tama. It might be amusing."

I tell him exactly what I think of him. It takes a while.

"You've been spending too much time with that foul-mouthed half-breed," Naraku says mildly after I've finished. "Do you know what half of those words mean?"

I tell him, among other things, that I know exactly what I'm saying.

Naraku lifts an eyebrow, and while he appears to be distracted I attempt to buck him off. It doesn't work.

While I'm off balance, he begins. I hate this. I hate him, and my hate stops the tears.

"You're my tool, Sango," he whispers as he lies on top of me. "Your allies will fall, and the Shikon no Tama will fall to my hand - and you will be my tool in doing it, Sango...."

Every night this happens. Every night, he rapes me in my dreams, and he makes sure I can't remember it in the morning. Every night, his hold on me grows a little stronger.

And every night, my scream of pain and rage grows a little more.

Author's Notes

This concept came from the close of Sango's introductory arc. Miroku tells Inu-Yasha, when Inu-Yasha's complaining about Sango's hazy memory, "Naraku no doubt thought to enchant her so... she would be unable to find her way back to him." While Naraku himself reflects, "As for the exterminator Sango... I have plenty of uses for her yet." This was an exploration of perhaps one of those uses.