This strikes right at the core of one of my most deeply-held and certain beliefs: that the fic archive can be and, if maintained correctly, is an art form.

When I write, I am trying to show you what I see. What things look like to me. Come, look at this, I'm saying. What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Tell me! I have torn my veins and ripped my soul to show you this. The smears on your screen are the tears I wept as I wrote. The ringing in your ears is the laughter I tried to write. Do you see what I see?

Some people might say that an archivist has no such creative input. That s/he, because s/he didn't actually write the work, has done nothing but give it a residence. I disagree.

An archivist, by selecting a work and displaying it, is saying: Here it is! I saw this view, I shared this dream. It is of value to me; it says something I feel is important. Come and share it with us!

Every time I'm asked for permission to archive one of my fics, I feel incredibly honoured. I don't get that much C&C; it's rare indeed that someone will take the time to say, "I liked that." So when someone asks me if they can host one of my fics, it's wonderful. That someone has shared my dream, and liked it enough to present it to others as part of their own.... There are no words.

And so it is doubly shattering when someone asks to archive one of my fics, but asks me to submit my own choice. I've received hate mail for 'Eve of Destruction' and won an award for'Understanding'. I've been asked for followups for 'Choice' and I get notes accusing me of 'pandering to the yaoi-haters' with 'Starlit Reflections'. How can I choose what the archivist wants?

And anyway, what kind of an archive is that? There's no expression or artistry in it! It doesn't show the archivist's heart or communicate any kind of message. One might as well make a collage of miniatures of all the works in the National Art Gallery and present it to the public - there's as much feeling behind it. Where, I ask you, is the point?

I will never 'submit' any of my works to any archive. If I'm asked, I'll gladly join - for it is an honour I prize above all others, to be part of someone else's dream. But I will never cheapen a dream. Not mine, that I spin for people to read. And not those of those people who archive the tales of others. I cannot help but see those 'hotchpotch' archives as doing that - by being lumped all together, without any care in their choosing, I don't see that any story is valued.

Maybe it's egotistical, but I don't want any of my stories in a place like that.